I wish I could say that my drama with Anne is completely diffused. I would be an inspiration to men everywhere giving them false hope, but hope nonetheless. I don't know if we're just fundamentally different people or if I've just lost my damn mind, but this chick seems to not make any sense to me. She doesn't own up to things that she's done, she makes no apologies for being a bitch, and seems to derive pleasure from my inability to cleanse the situation of her ineptitude. Does that make me inept? Who cares...
What matters is that I have yet to find a solution to my issues with her. Let's recap my efforts briefly. I've talked to her, I've yelled at her, I've ignored her, I've exploded on her (non-sexually), and I stopped talking to her for months. Most people would think to leave well enough alone, but not her. I wonder to her motivations. Is she lonely? Is this how she thinks relationships should work? Is this just a reflection of her past relationships with men? Am I spending too much time thinking about this? YES!!!
I am not yet ready to concede my team sports to my utter failure of a relationship and to a selfish (c)old woman. I would instead like to compromise a situation that is confortable for both parties involved. What I want is 1 of 2 things: retribution or for her to just leave me alone. I'm not a very vengeful person so retribution seems a little bit far-fetched. Unfortunately, she's not going to leave me alone. It's like playing paddle ball. I push her away and she comes flying back. I tried a new strategy of trying to be nice to her to maybe rekindle her old deep-freeze. It hasn't quite worked to the desired results.
I remember the days when you told someone to leave you alone and they left you alone. Now, I gotta think up new ways to tell a bitch to stop botherin me. Apparently, "Fuck off" just doesn't work anymore. This chick is now jumping into my conversations and giving me hugs in front of other people. We ain't friends bitch. She's even offering to spend personal time with me. She offered me a ride to where I was going. It may not have been an invitation to getting laid, but seriously now... it's like things are going back to when we first met except I'm trying to run away from her.
I think there's a line for every relationship especially the failed ones. How much can you take before you have to bury that person in your history? How long can you weather the unsatisfactory moments before enough is enough casting aside the present and the future? I'm a strong believer in redemption but I don't have far to go before I have to dismiss her to my past.
I've tried tact, leverage, forceful tact, emotional brute force, and now I'm back to tact. I believe I can make this successful in some way, shape, or form. I'm a strong person and I can will my way to victory, right? I hope that my determination can achieve victory where I've let myself fail before. I don't have many options left, but I believe what I'm doing now is niether selfish or manipulative and should honestly be the appropriate way for me to resolve my situation. I'm going to ask her how and what she thinks is the best way for us to move forward. It's very simple yet effective. I'm surprised I didn't think of it before, but for the last 15 months it's been every man for himself.
I may have lost many battles, but I will win the war!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Relief?
Well, it's been a few months and a new season of soccer has been underway. I can't the last few months have been blissful but significantly less dramatic than previous months. My situation with Anne hasn't gotten any better or any worse, for that matter. I think I'm to the point now that I'm just happy to be free of the lack of satisfaction that she provided. Gone is the anger, the frustration, the confusion, and the pain of being rejected. Instead I'm free to move forward in any direction of my choosing.
I wish I could say that it's great to be free of her completely, but I honestly still want to unload a batch of nutbutter down her throat or all over her fake, perpetually firm, ever squeezable boobies. I wouldn't mind tying her up and having my way with her and then leaving her like that for a few hours while I watched football, then coming back and spanking her white ass beet red for being a selfish whore for all those months... I'm not bitter or anything.
It seems this is the end of this tale. The Anne situation may have reached it's conclusion. I believe that we will still play soccer together and be cordial before games, but gone is the relationship drama that has become the signature of my life. Has a void been formed or has a new step been taken? ...to be continued.
I wish I could say that it's great to be free of her completely, but I honestly still want to unload a batch of nutbutter down her throat or all over her fake, perpetually firm, ever squeezable boobies. I wouldn't mind tying her up and having my way with her and then leaving her like that for a few hours while I watched football, then coming back and spanking her white ass beet red for being a selfish whore for all those months... I'm not bitter or anything.
It seems this is the end of this tale. The Anne situation may have reached it's conclusion. I believe that we will still play soccer together and be cordial before games, but gone is the relationship drama that has become the signature of my life. Has a void been formed or has a new step been taken? ...to be continued.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Soccer season is over!
Woooot! We won it all. We are the champions of our league!! Unfortunately, it has come with a certain amount of drama... but then what would life be like without drama? I know I would have a lot less to say to my friends. LOL!
This past weekend I was an absolute warrior. I had a date on Friday which yeilded some potential for a later time. I'm absolutely hooked on MGS4. I found some time for that after my date. Then on Saturday I ended up playing two soccer games in 3 hours, taking my exhausted body out Saturday night for drinking and dancing and then out to the lacrosse field Sunday morning for 4 games! I had another date Sunday night. I'm surprised I haven't collapsed from sheer exhaustion yet.
Saturday morning out on the soccer field I get to enjoy seeing my ex on the sidelines. It's always a painful reminder of some of those bad decisions that I've made. There's nothing like the visual and auditory reminder of those mistakes, like hearing her voice or seeing her out there at the games. It's torture at times. The past few weeks have actually been cool in spite of that. We don't talk or even really look at each other... well, I don't look at her so I wouldn't know if she's looking at me. For as potentially explosive as the situation is, it's turned out to be a dud... until this saturday. The deal has been "don't speak to me unless you want a recap of my "childish" and angry attitude." For some reason, my dumbass ex Anne decides to start cheering me on? Huh? What the fuck?!! I believe that a few weeks ago she offered to strike me from her contact list completely and to never talk to me again, but now this...
I shrugged it off. I'm usually pretty good at ignoring people when I have to. It's also just a game. What kind of jerk would I be if I got upset over that? After the game she comes over and gives me a pat on the back and says "good game out there today" or something like that. My thoughts went like this: "First of all, who gave you permission to speak to me directly, and second of all, why the fuck are you touching me?!! You must really want me to cave in your chest with a superman punch." Luckily, I'm so elated to win this championship that any negative feelings I had are instantly replaced by the sheer euphoria of victory. I can't stop smiling. I'm overcome with so much pride for my teammates and a strong sense of accomplishment.
We head back to our local watering hole for some food and drink. The trophy of our league is proudly displayed in the center of our table. I choose to sit as far away from Anne as possible. Anne's passive-aggressive behavior, alchohol, and my confrontational nature would seem to be a bad mix. I choose to sit at the far end of the table. I can't see her or barely hear her. I proceed to get shitty. After about two hours or so... she appears at my end of the table; not that it was necessary to come down to my end as people were floating about at this time. She sits down right in my line of sight. I'm pretty drunk so I decide to go sit/stand somewhere else. After about 10 more minutes I'm feeling my ability at making decent decisions slipping away quickly. I pack my stuff up and head out. Crisis averted.
Later on, my thoughts drifted back to the events earlier in the day. Anne was trying to be nice, maybe. Am I a tool for holding onto this grudge of silence? Am I making things worse by blatantly ignoring her?? From my periphery of vision during the game I think she looked cute. I can't look at her directly without experiencing lust (her smile and boobies make me want to give her a pint of throat yogurt) or rage (she's just too selfish and passive-aggressive of a person). It's been pretty fucking confusing at times.
The next day at 8am I leave for lacrosse. I grab some coffee and a cookie and head to the field expecting to have to deal with Anne for the better part of 6 0r 7 hours. I get to the field warm up and the first set of games start with no sight of Anne. We split the first set after about 2.5 hours. We have a 2 hour break before the next set of games and still no sight of her. I'm beginning to think that she isn't going to show which would be nice because of the confounding thoughts I had been having the previous day. Just after the start of the second game she shows up. Out of all the games for me to sit out of and wait to be subbed in; it had to happen here. I'm chillin in a chair in the shade next to the field with some others when she pops up. She says "Hi" to everyone and I'm fully expecting her NOT to say anything to me, but she actually speaks. She says, "Oh, and Hi to you too, Armond" with a mouth full of bile. In that moment I felt completely justified for not speaking to her, looking at her, or acknowledging her existance.
As a matter of fact, earlier in the day my roommate and I were discussing the situation. He had advised me just to show her that she doesn't affect me anymore and sort of suggested that I kill her with a reserved polite kindness. I argued at the time that I couldn't do it cuz I'm angry as fuck. He commented that he prolly couldn't do it either to his ex. Yet, somehow from that moment, during the game, of hearing the venom in her voice towards me it freed me of her wicked spell. Why the fuck is she annoyed with me? Because I won't talk to her or because she can get away with it or because she just wants to get me riled up???
Anyway, we're all sending out congragulatory emails today about winning the soccer championship game. We're both on the distribution, of course. I reply with some humor and moments later she responds in such a fashion that pretty much sucks the life out of the humor. What a cunt.
This past weekend I was an absolute warrior. I had a date on Friday which yeilded some potential for a later time. I'm absolutely hooked on MGS4. I found some time for that after my date. Then on Saturday I ended up playing two soccer games in 3 hours, taking my exhausted body out Saturday night for drinking and dancing and then out to the lacrosse field Sunday morning for 4 games! I had another date Sunday night. I'm surprised I haven't collapsed from sheer exhaustion yet.
Saturday morning out on the soccer field I get to enjoy seeing my ex on the sidelines. It's always a painful reminder of some of those bad decisions that I've made. There's nothing like the visual and auditory reminder of those mistakes, like hearing her voice or seeing her out there at the games. It's torture at times. The past few weeks have actually been cool in spite of that. We don't talk or even really look at each other... well, I don't look at her so I wouldn't know if she's looking at me. For as potentially explosive as the situation is, it's turned out to be a dud... until this saturday. The deal has been "don't speak to me unless you want a recap of my "childish" and angry attitude." For some reason, my dumbass ex Anne decides to start cheering me on? Huh? What the fuck?!! I believe that a few weeks ago she offered to strike me from her contact list completely and to never talk to me again, but now this...
I shrugged it off. I'm usually pretty good at ignoring people when I have to. It's also just a game. What kind of jerk would I be if I got upset over that? After the game she comes over and gives me a pat on the back and says "good game out there today" or something like that. My thoughts went like this: "First of all, who gave you permission to speak to me directly, and second of all, why the fuck are you touching me?!! You must really want me to cave in your chest with a superman punch." Luckily, I'm so elated to win this championship that any negative feelings I had are instantly replaced by the sheer euphoria of victory. I can't stop smiling. I'm overcome with so much pride for my teammates and a strong sense of accomplishment.
We head back to our local watering hole for some food and drink. The trophy of our league is proudly displayed in the center of our table. I choose to sit as far away from Anne as possible. Anne's passive-aggressive behavior, alchohol, and my confrontational nature would seem to be a bad mix. I choose to sit at the far end of the table. I can't see her or barely hear her. I proceed to get shitty. After about two hours or so... she appears at my end of the table; not that it was necessary to come down to my end as people were floating about at this time. She sits down right in my line of sight. I'm pretty drunk so I decide to go sit/stand somewhere else. After about 10 more minutes I'm feeling my ability at making decent decisions slipping away quickly. I pack my stuff up and head out. Crisis averted.
Later on, my thoughts drifted back to the events earlier in the day. Anne was trying to be nice, maybe. Am I a tool for holding onto this grudge of silence? Am I making things worse by blatantly ignoring her?? From my periphery of vision during the game I think she looked cute. I can't look at her directly without experiencing lust (her smile and boobies make me want to give her a pint of throat yogurt) or rage (she's just too selfish and passive-aggressive of a person). It's been pretty fucking confusing at times.
The next day at 8am I leave for lacrosse. I grab some coffee and a cookie and head to the field expecting to have to deal with Anne for the better part of 6 0r 7 hours. I get to the field warm up and the first set of games start with no sight of Anne. We split the first set after about 2.5 hours. We have a 2 hour break before the next set of games and still no sight of her. I'm beginning to think that she isn't going to show which would be nice because of the confounding thoughts I had been having the previous day. Just after the start of the second game she shows up. Out of all the games for me to sit out of and wait to be subbed in; it had to happen here. I'm chillin in a chair in the shade next to the field with some others when she pops up. She says "Hi" to everyone and I'm fully expecting her NOT to say anything to me, but she actually speaks. She says, "Oh, and Hi to you too, Armond" with a mouth full of bile. In that moment I felt completely justified for not speaking to her, looking at her, or acknowledging her existance.
As a matter of fact, earlier in the day my roommate and I were discussing the situation. He had advised me just to show her that she doesn't affect me anymore and sort of suggested that I kill her with a reserved polite kindness. I argued at the time that I couldn't do it cuz I'm angry as fuck. He commented that he prolly couldn't do it either to his ex. Yet, somehow from that moment, during the game, of hearing the venom in her voice towards me it freed me of her wicked spell. Why the fuck is she annoyed with me? Because I won't talk to her or because she can get away with it or because she just wants to get me riled up???
Anyway, we're all sending out congragulatory emails today about winning the soccer championship game. We're both on the distribution, of course. I reply with some humor and moments later she responds in such a fashion that pretty much sucks the life out of the humor. What a cunt.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Update on Anne
I think karma may be turning back my direction... I've had the worst run out of all my friends but something unusual happened. I was playing soccer about a week after the big blow-up with Anne. I really wanted to give up soccer (it's the smart decision), but I just couldn't let her push me out of something that I like doing. If anything her triflin' ass should've quit the team. Anyway, the game was really good for the most part. We didn't talk once. Lucky for her cuz I was gonna blow. I was gonna be a mushroom-cloud layin' muthafucka. I don't know where this anger comes from but I know it's not good to have a race car in the red. Halfway into the 3rd quarter she gets hurt... like laying on the field hurt for 10 minutes. Somehow she broke her wrist and she was cryin and wimperin like a little girl (keep in mind that she's ex-military and gym rat and the most independent person you will ever meet).
I would love to tell you all that I was doing a little dance and singing a little song. It should've been as blissful as Dorothy throwing water onto the wicked witch of the west, but it wasn't. I actually wasn't thrilled about her injury even though potentially I may not see her again for the rest of the season. I felt sad for her cuz not only did she fuck up our friendship, but she just fucked up her wrist too. Unfortunately, she plans on attending as a cheerleader.
I think karma smiled on me by breaking her wrist as punishment for hurting yours truly. Some would call that justice or righteous retribution. I think of it as "just desserts".
I would love to tell you all that I was doing a little dance and singing a little song. It should've been as blissful as Dorothy throwing water onto the wicked witch of the west, but it wasn't. I actually wasn't thrilled about her injury even though potentially I may not see her again for the rest of the season. I felt sad for her cuz not only did she fuck up our friendship, but she just fucked up her wrist too. Unfortunately, she plans on attending as a cheerleader.
I think karma smiled on me by breaking her wrist as punishment for hurting yours truly. Some would call that justice or righteous retribution. I think of it as "just desserts".
Weekend Birthday Party
I went out this past weekend for a friends Bday on Saturday night. It was supposed to be dinner, drinking, and dancing... but no real dancing occured. Lots of old "friends" showed up. My ex-gf, Annie, was there. My old flame Annica was there. My old enemy Tara was there. I also met some new people as well. I was very surprised to see Annie as we haven't talked for over a year easy... and for good reason.
I dated Annie seriously a couple years ago. That was an awkward relationship. Here are the highlights... she was a virgin, she had very little social skills (prolly why she was a virgin), and took a mean ass dump in my bathroom (yet another reason why she was a virgin). Well, this one afternoon she comes over to hang out. I think we watched a movie or something. She stays the night and the next morning she wants to talk. It was kind of ominous the way she said it. I'm thinking I did something wrong. She says she'll be right back and goes to the bathroom. While I'm waiting for her to come out I'm getting all nervous and thinking "Fuck, what did I do wrong?" With women, sometimes you just don't know. After about 15-20 minutes she comes out of the bathroom. I'm a wreck from having to wait all that time!! My palms are all sweaty and my brain is going a mile a minute from being nervous and stuff. I get up and go into the bathroom to wash my hands only to be assaulted by a stinky foul smell that accompanied the destruction of my toilet bowl. Holy Shit, she took a mean ass dump!!! She didn't use the fan or use any spray... foul. Nothing this strong should come out of a girl that size. Burning sulfur smelled better than what she did to my bathroom. At this point, I'm just happy she flushed. Anyway, I come back to my room breathing cleaner air. I don't remember the conversation word for word but basically it was awkward. Somehow she managed to get it out that she was ready to have sex with me. FUCK THAT!! After that bomb she dropped, the mere thought made me wanna drop her in chlorine before touching her again. Who does things like that?! I don't even like anal so you can imagine my disgust. Things just went downhill from there...
So here she is, toilet crusher (TC for short), at my friends Bday party. I go over and say "Hi" to her to be polite and she gives me this awkward... (wait for it)... handshake (wtf?) and then scurries away. Definitely, the most awkward woman I have ever met. I noticed that she put on some weight in her belly. I wonder if she found the bathroom later to help out with that.
TC actually showed up with my old flame Annica and Annica's bf. I had the biggest crush on this chick for at least 5 years. We never really got together... she pretty much played me for the fool that I was. She actually hooked up with one of my closest friends. What a clusterfuck that was. She's trifling and once I realized this I stopped talking to her. I'm polite when I see her, but I don't consider her a friend or anything. She acts like I'm supposed to still be nice to her cuz I used to want her so badly. I really don't pay her any mind anymore. Anyway, they were sitting over in the corner talking, prolly about me at some point in time. I caught some unapproving glares over the course of the night... lame. As it turns out my old enemy was the nicest to me. Tara gave me a huge hug before she left. Just to think, back in the day she tried to have her boyfriend beat me up. Imagine that.
The last comment on the evening revolves around the Bday girl's boyfriend. The first adjective ever used to describe him was "douche" from a friend that met him prior. He didn't do much to shake that nickname. He kept trying to let me know that he thought I was "OK" in his book. Like I give a fuck... only a douche tries so hard to be your friend so he can keep a real close eye on things. Shady. If that dude makes her happy that's cool. Otherwise, I hope they break up soon. What a douche.
I dated Annie seriously a couple years ago. That was an awkward relationship. Here are the highlights... she was a virgin, she had very little social skills (prolly why she was a virgin), and took a mean ass dump in my bathroom (yet another reason why she was a virgin). Well, this one afternoon she comes over to hang out. I think we watched a movie or something. She stays the night and the next morning she wants to talk. It was kind of ominous the way she said it. I'm thinking I did something wrong. She says she'll be right back and goes to the bathroom. While I'm waiting for her to come out I'm getting all nervous and thinking "Fuck, what did I do wrong?" With women, sometimes you just don't know. After about 15-20 minutes she comes out of the bathroom. I'm a wreck from having to wait all that time!! My palms are all sweaty and my brain is going a mile a minute from being nervous and stuff. I get up and go into the bathroom to wash my hands only to be assaulted by a stinky foul smell that accompanied the destruction of my toilet bowl. Holy Shit, she took a mean ass dump!!! She didn't use the fan or use any spray... foul. Nothing this strong should come out of a girl that size. Burning sulfur smelled better than what she did to my bathroom. At this point, I'm just happy she flushed. Anyway, I come back to my room breathing cleaner air. I don't remember the conversation word for word but basically it was awkward. Somehow she managed to get it out that she was ready to have sex with me. FUCK THAT!! After that bomb she dropped, the mere thought made me wanna drop her in chlorine before touching her again. Who does things like that?! I don't even like anal so you can imagine my disgust. Things just went downhill from there...
So here she is, toilet crusher (TC for short), at my friends Bday party. I go over and say "Hi" to her to be polite and she gives me this awkward... (wait for it)... handshake (wtf?) and then scurries away. Definitely, the most awkward woman I have ever met. I noticed that she put on some weight in her belly. I wonder if she found the bathroom later to help out with that.
TC actually showed up with my old flame Annica and Annica's bf. I had the biggest crush on this chick for at least 5 years. We never really got together... she pretty much played me for the fool that I was. She actually hooked up with one of my closest friends. What a clusterfuck that was. She's trifling and once I realized this I stopped talking to her. I'm polite when I see her, but I don't consider her a friend or anything. She acts like I'm supposed to still be nice to her cuz I used to want her so badly. I really don't pay her any mind anymore. Anyway, they were sitting over in the corner talking, prolly about me at some point in time. I caught some unapproving glares over the course of the night... lame. As it turns out my old enemy was the nicest to me. Tara gave me a huge hug before she left. Just to think, back in the day she tried to have her boyfriend beat me up. Imagine that.
The last comment on the evening revolves around the Bday girl's boyfriend. The first adjective ever used to describe him was "douche" from a friend that met him prior. He didn't do much to shake that nickname. He kept trying to let me know that he thought I was "OK" in his book. Like I give a fuck... only a douche tries so hard to be your friend so he can keep a real close eye on things. Shady. If that dude makes her happy that's cool. Otherwise, I hope they break up soon. What a douche.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Anne's Reply
A quick follow up... she actually emailed me back. In typical Anne fashion, it was under 4 sentences. It was nothing spectacular, unfortunately. Apparently, I'm childish. I can live with that.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
1st Blog
So, it's saturday morning and I got to play soccer at 830 in the morning. I'm like the 3rd person there. Of couse, Anne has to show up as always. This fact doesn't bother me. I go for a walk, meander around, pretty much avoiding any area she's in. I obviously don't want to talk to her. We haven't spoken in about 5 months. A mutual decision, I suppose. My initiative nonetheless. So the time comes for the team to gather around... people start saying "Hi" to me as we gather in. I hear her speak to me, but I ignore her. Oh, but she won't be ignored! She says "Hi" like 2 more times louder than the first time...
Well, what's the harm in that? I'll tell you. When we were 'dating' I couldn't get her to acknowledge me for many games. I would show up and she would just ignore me. That shit was confusing. After the games she would call me like nothing happened. It would take 5 games for her to say 'Hi' to me 3 times at least, sometimes more. I had to ask her, "Why dont you speak?" She would say some bullshit about being too much into the game or something. What could I do?
...so not trying to be rude, I say "Hi, Anne" in a very unexcited tone. I think anyone could've picked up on that disinterested response. I would've shown more interest in a golf ball than speaking to her at that point in time. So, we play the game and she's being all nice and shit. Why the fuck is she being nice now? It takes 5 months of not speaking to get that?! Fuck that. I mean seriously, fuck that with a whiffle ball bat. That shit is confusing. I go home and call her (mistake #1). I tell her to just let me be at the games... to give me my space while I heal from these recently trying times (Her dumbass, Angela (another chick), job stresses, family members passing away, etc. etc.) I just really don't want to deal with her cuz she pretty much fucks my head up, but i don't want to give up my activities.
She responsds immediately by saying that she's going to delete all my contact information and never speak to me again.... Hhhhwhat?! Really... are we back in middle school again, really? I say, "Don't take it personal" she says she's not. Well, this shit infuriates me! She got me again. The stupid bitch got me again, dammmit!! I try to explain that I'm just looking for some space. She says "Ok" meaning fuck you Giorgio. She completely reverses the situation to where I'm feeling guilty like I did something wrong. She's the one with the impenetrable force shield, heart of stone, black hole of love, void of emotion. Realizing no matter what I say or do, I'm going to be the asshole. Well, If I'm going to be the asshole I want to feel validated in that status.
I wrote her an email (mistake #2). Actually, 2 emails (mistake #3). I told her how I really feel. Here a couple quotes from one: 'Take a look at this picture again... notice the smile on my face. It will be absent the next time I see you.' and 'Can you see the big middle finger I'm giving you?' and last, but not least 'FUCK!!! I'm sending this shit to you. I hope your computer explodes from all my rage.' As you might assume, nothing good can come from this. It's the price I've paid for not saying something sooner. I asked her not to respond to it. She normally didn't say much in response to most emails I wrote anyway. I'm going to be paying for it at the soccer games I would imagine. She has a tendency to being vindictive and spiteful, but passive-aggressively so.
That about wraps it up. Thank you for reading.
Well, what's the harm in that? I'll tell you. When we were 'dating' I couldn't get her to acknowledge me for many games. I would show up and she would just ignore me. That shit was confusing. After the games she would call me like nothing happened. It would take 5 games for her to say 'Hi' to me 3 times at least, sometimes more. I had to ask her, "Why dont you speak?" She would say some bullshit about being too much into the game or something. What could I do?
...so not trying to be rude, I say "Hi, Anne" in a very unexcited tone. I think anyone could've picked up on that disinterested response. I would've shown more interest in a golf ball than speaking to her at that point in time. So, we play the game and she's being all nice and shit. Why the fuck is she being nice now? It takes 5 months of not speaking to get that?! Fuck that. I mean seriously, fuck that with a whiffle ball bat. That shit is confusing. I go home and call her (mistake #1). I tell her to just let me be at the games... to give me my space while I heal from these recently trying times (Her dumbass, Angela (another chick), job stresses, family members passing away, etc. etc.) I just really don't want to deal with her cuz she pretty much fucks my head up, but i don't want to give up my activities.
She responsds immediately by saying that she's going to delete all my contact information and never speak to me again.... Hhhhwhat?! Really... are we back in middle school again, really? I say, "Don't take it personal" she says she's not. Well, this shit infuriates me! She got me again. The stupid bitch got me again, dammmit!! I try to explain that I'm just looking for some space. She says "Ok" meaning fuck you Giorgio. She completely reverses the situation to where I'm feeling guilty like I did something wrong. She's the one with the impenetrable force shield, heart of stone, black hole of love, void of emotion. Realizing no matter what I say or do, I'm going to be the asshole. Well, If I'm going to be the asshole I want to feel validated in that status.
I wrote her an email (mistake #2). Actually, 2 emails (mistake #3). I told her how I really feel. Here a couple quotes from one: 'Take a look at this picture again... notice the smile on my face. It will be absent the next time I see you.' and 'Can you see the big middle finger I'm giving you?' and last, but not least 'FUCK!!! I'm sending this shit to you. I hope your computer explodes from all my rage.' As you might assume, nothing good can come from this. It's the price I've paid for not saying something sooner. I asked her not to respond to it. She normally didn't say much in response to most emails I wrote anyway. I'm going to be paying for it at the soccer games I would imagine. She has a tendency to being vindictive and spiteful, but passive-aggressively so.
That about wraps it up. Thank you for reading.
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